The Waiting Room

This could take a while...

Monday, July 28, 2014

What's It Gonna To Take?

Posted by Seeking Solace |

I received an email from a local CC letting me know that despite having numerous qualified applicants, they were looking for someone who best fit their requirements. Therefore, I was not selected for an interview.

Really? I thought I hit all the requirments for the position. Let's see...

  • I've taught the course in question for many years and I am teaching it currently
  • I have experience with online learning. 
  • I have all of the educational and employment requirements. (Those of you who know me IRL know my history.)
  • I have devoted my academic work to adult learners, which includes my PhD studies
  • I have a stellar teaching record.

Yep. I can see why I didn't get an interview. I am seriously under-qualified (Insert sarcastic look of disgust.)

I can understand having many applicants for the position. But, did anyone really look at my CV and other materials? I sent an email to HR, inquiring what deficiencies were present in my application, so that I could address them. I seriously doubt I will get a response.

If meeting all the requirements, and then some, is not enough to even get an interview, what's it gonna take?

Because, I have no idea.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Counting Streetlights

Posted by Seeking Solace |

Runners use many things to keep track of their distance. There are tons of devices and apps to help one monitor how far they go. I use a pedometer app on my phone and wear one of those armbands that hold my phone. But, it's kinda hard to look at my progress while running and holding on to Junior's leash (plus, a poop bag, if needed).

I count streetlights.

I live in a subdivision that has one large loop and two smaller streets that intersect the large loop. The large loop is about a mile and the two intersecting streets break up the loop at a quarter and half miles, respectively. As I progress with my distance, I am not always able to make the quarter or half mile mark, so the streetlights are a great visual for me to see how far I have gone and where I need to go.

I've been stuck at the 1.5 mile mark for a while. Usually, I can add one or two streetlights every two weeks or so, if I stick to my four to five day a week run/walk schedule. This consists of running one day, walking the next, and then rest on the third day. Or, I add another run or walk day followed by a rest day if I feel up to it. But, I have not been able to add a streetlight past the 1.5 mile mark for about a month.

That is, until today.

I didn't think we would make it out for a run. It looked like it was going to rain, so I was sure that we would get caught up in it. Junior was pretty persistent about going, so I decided to give it a go. Once we finished our warm up walk and reached our start point, we started cruising. I noticed that as we got close to the 1.5 mile mark, I felt like I had enough gas in the tank to reach another streetlight. Once, I past that streetlight, I had enough gas to push past the second streetlight. I decided to stop at that point. so that I would not overdue it and send myself into an RA flare. Also, I wanted to make sure that Junior was not too overheated or overextended. I added two streetlights. That was enough. I checked my pedometer, and sure enough, we added 1/10 of a mile.

My goal is to complete a 5K by the end of the year. With Junior's help, we are on our way.

One streetlight at a time.

Wednesday, July 02, 2014

Half Full

Posted by Seeking Solace |

So, I think I have risen out of my summertime blues. I re-adjusted my daily schedule, which has helped. I also allowed my feelings to just "be", rather than try to fight them. I came to the conclusion that I only have about one month left of freedom, regardless of what happens job-wise. Once August arrives, I will be super busy. So, I should enjoy July and not worry about the other stuff...too much. 

Even if nothing pans out on the job front, I still have my one class gig at HBCU and I can take two classes at PhD U. It's not ideal, but it's better than having no job at all. And, I will be further along with my PhD. If I am working full-time, I can only handle one class. Having two courses at PhD U will allow me to make some connections with people in the program. Networking is always a good thing.

I did apply for a position at a Law School teaching research and writing. I often thought that if I taught at a law school, I would teach research and writing. It is not a TT position; it's a renewable contract position. That doesn't bother me too much, as I am used to being in that position, although I will be asking if becoming TT would be a possibility. That is, of course, if I get an interview. I did write one kick ass cover letter, probably one of the best cover letters I've ever written. Even if nothing comes of it, I have a new cover letter template, which will help me in the future.

I am still preparing for the GRE. The quantitative section is a little rough, but Husband is helping me with some of the math. It's not like the SAT where I have to provide the correct answer; it's just comparisons. But, I do need to use some algebra and geometry to make the comparisons. I have not used those skills in 30 years, so I am a little rusty. Husband is a good teacher and I am able to recall and apply the information. I am just reminding myself that I am shooting for a "D".  This has been my plan since the summer break started.

With the conference coming up, I need to do my fieldwork. I will be interviewing students and will need time to set those up. Plus, I will need to transcribe, code and do all of that other stuff. That takes time.

I follow a RA support group page on FB. There is a woman who has RA and is running a 5K after losing a lot of weight and being in remission. I was thinking about doing a 5K before I read about this woman's journey and after reading it, I was inspired to do the same. I am thinking about doing the Arthritis Run in December. That would give me enough time to slowly train my way to 3.1 miles. Currently, I can do one mile. So, if nothing changes, job-wise, I will have more training time. I have to train slowly, so that I do not anger the joints too much.

With all of that, I realized that my glass is half full. Even if nothing works out on the job front, I am no worse for the wear. I have enough on my plate to keep me somewhat satisfied.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Summertime Blues

Posted by Seeking Solace |

It was bound to happen...I have the blues.

The Summer of Seeking Solace is has been OK. I've been reading for pleasure and for the PhD. I learned that my conference proposal was accepted for a conference at West Coast Law School, which also means I need to get an IRB approved to do the interviews. I've been studying for the GRE. I've been going to the pool, cooking, going for runs with Junior and just hanging out.

And...I am now tired of all of it.

I know, I know...I should be enjoying this time because when August comes and classes start again at HBCU and at PhD U, I will be busy. Add the research, and I will be super busy. I totally get it.

Yet, I am in this funk.

The problem is the whole job hunt thing. It's hiring season. I applied for a faculty position at HBCU. After some strange twists and turns, I should know (hopefully) next week if I will get an interview. Also, a faculty position at a nearby law school has my name written all over it. I am waiting on one reference letter before I upload and click "Submit".  I applied for a position at local CC and have heard nothing but crickets. Of course, nothing will probably happen until after July 1st. But, all of this just has my head spinning. I wish I could just put the entire job process out of my head.

But, I can't. I can't focus on what I need to do. I will get short spurts of motivation, which last about an hour. After that, nothing! Even my usual tricks to get myself motivated are not working. Honestly, I am surprised that I've kept up with running. If it wasn't for Junior's persistence, I probably wouldn't go. Running is the one thing that has kept me relatively sane.

I've thought about changing my daily routine as a means to give me a jump start. Right now, my daily routine is so predictable. Junior knows exactly when it is time for lunch or going outside. Dogs are creatures of habit, but this is a little overboard.  So, since it is stupid hot season in Elsewhere, running with Junior will have to be much earlier in the morning. It's a little hard for me because I am not a morning person. But, it may give me an extra boost that will allow me to get some things done.
I will also need to change my routine on my off days from running. This may be a little harder.

Something else I want to do is to change my workspace, My desk in the home office is too small and it does allow me to spread out. Using our dinning room table is just not cutting it. Husband said I could use his desk, which is much bigger. But, I need my own desk with my stuff set up the way I like it. Our office is a large space, so I think getting a second large desk will work.


Perhaps these changes may be the cure for my Summertime Blues.

Friday, June 13, 2014

Angry Green-Eyed Monster

Posted by Seeking Solace |

Yesterday, I was having lunch with one of my besties, who also works at Former College. Long time readers know this is the college where I worked when I first moved to Elsewhere and before Tech College. There has been a lot of chaos and disorder there, which was mostly chaos when I was there and entering disorder after I left to go to Tech College. Anywho, my friend was telling my that the person who took over my role in the legal studies area, someone who I hired, nurtured and groomed, is also head of the general education department and is being considered as the point-person in the revamping of the legal studies curriculum at all of the colleges within Former Colleges system.

When I heard this, I was, of course, happy for my former colleague and protege.  He has come a long way from when I had first hired him. He has transitioned very well from practicing attorney to academic. He will do quite well with his new responsibilities.

At the same time, I became jealous and angry.

I am jealous because I had fought for these changes to the curriculum to happen at Former College during the time that I was there. I had tried to show that I would be the right person for the job, given my years of experience in law and education, coupled with my PhD work. I just feel that it should have been me.

I am angry because I had wanted the additional responsibility while at Former College (Remember, I had applied to be Assistant Dean?) I had even suggested taking on some of that responsibility when it was clear that the person in the Assistant Dean position could not handle all of the responsibilities. Again, I feel like it should have been me.

Lastly, I am angry at myself. I am angry at myself for taking the job at Tech College, which resulted in my getting burned out beyond recognition and having to quit. That resulted in my being in the position that I am in now...underemployed and hustling adjunct jobs and begging to get back into the game. 

And, with all of that, I feel guilty for feeling so angry and jealous.

Husband says that it's understandable for me to feel the way that I do. At the same time, he thinks that I made the decision to leave Former College because it was, at that time, the right decision to make. There is no guarantee that if I had stayed at Former College, things would have worked out. If anything, it would have gotten worse. And, I didn't know that things at Tech College were so much worse. I need to cut myself some slack. I made the decision that seemed right at the time.

He's right..I suppose. But, it doesn't make me feel any better.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Waiting is the hardest part

Posted by Seeking Solace |

After a bit of a SNAFU with my application. HR at HBCU has sent my application documents to the selection committee. The SNAFU was that apparently they "did not receive" my information, despite my mailing it. So, I resent my application via certified mail and sent an electronic copy. I received my return receipt and an email saying that my documents were sent to the department.

Well, OK then.

I am not allowing myself to get excited about this. I don't want to be disappointed should things not work out. So, I am trying not the think about it. I am trying to keep myself occupied with other things, like studying for the GRE and enjoying my summer.

Well, I am enjoying my time off, but the studying for the GRE started off well, but has fizzled a little. But, I am finding it hard to concentrate, with the job prospects up in the air.


You would think that in all the years that I have applied for jobs, the process would be easier, that the wait would not consume your thoughts. I mean, how many jobs have I applied for since my teen years, I would be used to waiting and knowing the waiting is part of the process.

I guess the waiting is always the hardest part.

Monday, May 19, 2014

Not Insane

Posted by Seeking Solace |

HBCU has not one, but two full time faculty positions open.  Yes, I will be applying. But, I expect absolutely nothing to come of it.

Einstein said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different result.  He would say that I am certifiable.

Those of you who missed the saga of my last attempt to secure a full time faculty position at HBCU will recall that I applied and was completely ignored. No responses to my follow-up phone calls or emails. Not even an acknowledgment of the receipt of my credentials.  Nothing. And, to add insult to injury, they hired someone and I found out about it when I was looking for another faculty members email.This was a flaming act of douchebagery that sent me into a dimension of pissed off I had not visited before, along with the mother of all hangovers.

I know what you are thinking...what the hell is wrong with you? Why would you apply again? Plus, adjuncts always get the shaft when a full time position is up for grabs.

I am applying because I need to do it. I don't want people to think that they broke me. I also know that I am damn good at what I do. I can have a huge impact on the students there. Actually, I am already doing that with the one class that I teach. I've paid my dues and deserve the shot.I am going to state my case, again. I will show that my previous coursework is relevant, even though I don't have the degree (the ad did say related degree or 18 graduate credit hours). I also have the experience and can bring some skills to the table that are needed for the department.  That's it.

 I am not allowing myself to become emotionally involved in the process.That was why I had such a reaction when it didn't work out. I am going to just let the chips fall where they may. I have my online class as a backup. There's another adjunct gig that I am waiting on a response. I will be fully accepted into the doctoral program next year and they are very good about helping PhD students find funding. I can handle this.

So, to answer Einstein, I am relying on the words of another great mind, Sheldon Cooper. "I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested!"

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