The Waiting Room

I'm not talking about guys who wear sagging pants; I'm talking about ME! Since September, I've lost 35 pounds. I weigh less now than I did when I moved to Elsewhere. I'm down 3 pants/dress sizes and wear medium tops.

Yay me! 

I've been using LoseIt. It's a calorie tracker which allows you to track your food intake. It's like Weight Watchers, only it's free.  You can use a smart phone or track online. One of the things I love is the ability to scan bar codes with my phone.  It sets you up to lose 2 pounds a week, maximum. The calorie intake is reasonable...no starvation diets. It have a database of food, including store brand foods and restaurant listings.  You can also buy back calories when you exercise. So, I can log in workouts or other activities.

I don't know why I hadn't tried this in the past. I've tried everything reasonable. I've worked out during my periods of remission, but I've never seen this kind of result. I didn't think I had the discipline to track my calories. I'm very vigilante about logging in my data.  Although, I  wonder about whether I will get to a point where I will not have to enter the information and just trust myself.

I think what LoseIt has helped me do is realize how much I eat. Portion sizes really do matter.  I am more aware of how many calories are in a particular food. I think about how much I need versus how much I want. I also realize that I can still have junk food or alcohol. I just budget accordingly. I also don't get upset if I go over...I just vow to do better the next day.

What's great is that I've noticed that the weight loss has helped my joints. Less weight means less impact. My RA doc is really pleased with that. It has also done wonders with my mood. With all the work-related drama, I don't seem as depressed. Also, I do have energy to exercise. In fact, I actually did a slow jog on my treadmill for five minutes.  It may not seem like much, but for me, it's huge. I was a runner back in the day.  (I did take an exercise break during the most recent flare.)


So now, my clothes situation. I really am having trouble with pants. I have to wear belts because I can't keep my pants up! I would buy new ones, but I  have 16 pounds left to my goal. So, I don't want to buy new stuff, only to have to purchase again. I could go to the tailor, but I see the same problem.  OK, I know, it's a good problem to have, but I feel like I am trapped in the 80's with my baggy pants look!  I have jettisoned my larger sized clothes because I am so not going there again. But, I still have one size higher than what I am right now.

I know, I know....it's a good problem to have.

Normally, I do not leave campus until sometime between 7 and 10 p.m. On top of that, I have a 30-40 minute commute, one-way. It's been quite an adjustment for everyone, but we have been able to manage. Sadly, I don't spend much time with Husband during the week because of that schedule. I do get to see Junior and have some doggie-mom time, but not as much as I would like.

Yesterday, I had a meeting at a sister campus, which lasted just long enough that going back to my own campus would be a waste of time. So, I went home. I walked in the door at 5 p.m. I gave Junior a big hug, changed clothes, and sat out on my deck with a beer and hung out with my dog.

It was bliss...until my cell phone started ringing.

It was work again.

Sigh...

The new round of steroids has kicked in quickly. I am feeling much better. This is a good thing considering all that has gone on within the last 24 hours.

First, I had to fire Bad Adjunct. She was violating school and accreditation policy, she told students about our meeting where I set pentameters of what I expected of her and lied about what I and CD said in the meeting, and finally, had what I believe was the worst example of teaching I have ever seen. There was no "teaching", rather she presented a disjointed, rambling presentation which no one was able to follow. She displayed minimal classroom management skills.  In short, she is not fit to be in classroom.

I wish I had seen a teaching demo of Bad Adjunct before I agreed to bring her to my campus. I was desperate for an instructor and could not find anyone remotely qualified to teach the class. Our sister campus was stalling on providing any paperwork or evaluations about Bad Adjunct. I later found out that Sister Campus did not complete any teaching evaluations of Bad Adjunct, which is also a policy violation.  If I had known about her lack of teaching ability, I would not have allowed her to come to my campus or at least put her on a plan to assist her with her teaching deficiencies. I feel awful about the whole thing because I feel like I did a disservice to the students.  Now, I am trying to salvage the term. I found another instructor who will pick up the course. But I worry the damage is already done.

Next, I had to put a student on suspension pending a hearing for allegedly sexually harassing another student. He claims that the female student started the whole thing and she said some things to him that were offensive. I am still trying to sort this out, but I have a feeling more suspensions will be coming. The hearings will be very interesting.

And, I've been in meeting after meeting about stuff that I just can't deal with right now, because I still need to find more instructors who are qualified and not anything remotely like Bad Adjunct.

Yep...it's been a rough couple of days. But, at least the meds are working.

Well, I started to feel better, but then all hell broke loose at work on Saturday and I ended up in another flare. I was so exhausted that needed to rest after climbing a flight of stairs. My joints ached, but were not swollen. And, the rib/collarbone pain was back. I stayed home from work today so that I could go to the RA doc.

RA doc said that this was definitely an out of the ordinary flare for me. She was concerned that I had such a quick downturn, especially after a 12 day taper. Also, the pain in my ribs and collarbone were more symptomatic of  Fibromyalgia, which she thinks may be a secondary illness to the RA. 

Well, that's just great. Another illness to add to all of the crap I am dealing with right now. 

OK, to be fair, she isn't sure if it is truly Fibromyalgia. It's just that my symptoms seem to lean that way. It is not uncommon for RA patients to develop Fibromyalgia. But, we will have to see how I respond to an 18 day steroid taper. 

What frustrates me is what caused the flare in the first place. The weather in Elsewhere has been unseasonably cold and rainy. Normally, it should be in the 80's and sunny. Instead, it's rainy and in the 60's. (Funny how I think 60's is chilly. If it had been Lake Effect Snow Central, I would be doing a happy-dance if it was 60 degrees this time of year!)

OK, so I can't control the weather. But, can I control all the crap that is going on at work?  

Yep...cliffhanger.

The last few days have been very stressful...to say the least. 

First, I had a huge presentation for the People Who Work in Windowless Offices. I had to explain how I am going to fix all the issues in the academic department at Tech College. Although I am not responsible for all the problems (I wasn't working there when all that stuff happened), I am charged with putting together a plan to fix it.  So far, the policies that I've implemented are working and the Windowless Office people are pleased. But, the process of getting ready for the presentation was more stressful than the presentation itself. Boss was driving everyone crazy by nitpicking everyone's presentation. I know that he meant nothing malicious by it, but still...shut up and let me do what I know how to do.

Second, I have an instructor who is driving me crazy. She is extremely needy, not very tech savvy and possibly has  some serious mental health issues that are having an impact in the classroom. I learned that she violated college policy which is a huge no-no. The policy violation is extremely serious and could jeopardize the students. When I tried to discuss it with her, she flipped out on me.  She admitted that she had violated the policy and her only justification was that another instructor had done the same thing.   I told her that while I could not address the issue with the other instructor because what she told me is hearsay, that does not excuse or justify what she had done. She has taught at one of our sister campuses, so she should know better. She became very agitated to the point that I had to ask her to leave my office. Now, she is blowing up my voicemail with half-hearted apologies and half-assed explanations for what she did. Boss wants her gone, but I can't fire her right now. There are five weeks left in the term and I have no one to replace her. I am going to have to place some serious guidelines in place for the remainder of the term. After that, I will have to fire her.

Finally, there was the bomb that dropped yesterday. Yesterday was our internal audit. Everyone knew it was going to happen, but we did not expect it until June. Needless to say, I along with everyone else were running around like crazy people trying to gather all the documents that were needed. I think I blew a vein in my forehead.

Yeah...it's been a rough few days. And, I have a few thoughts on all of this...I just need some time process everything.At least my flare is over and done. I am so looking forward to the weekend.

First, someone call Ozzy and tell him I don't want to ride the Crazy Train anymore! 

Day 3 of the 12 day predinsone taper and I am starting to feel a little better. The joint pain and inflammation is down, although walking is still a little difficult. Hopefully, by the end of the week, I will be back to some state of normal.

I had a long talk with my mom the other day. I told her about all the crap at work.  My mom gave me some great insight on my situation and gave me some no nonsense advice. She told me that I should stick to my guns and do what I think is right. And, I may have to find a way to push issues up the chain. She also said that CD will ultimately hang himself, he doesn't need my help. She worked at a university and knows the politics and bullshit that goes on.  Someone will take note of the crap that is going on and he will have to answer for it.

But the big one was that I should not bail with only four months in. While she and everyone who knows me knows I would never "punk out" the fact remains that the rest of the world may not see it that way. That is reality...I know that. At my age, it does get harder in the market.  I have a high school friend who is my age (45) and having the worst time finding work. I have another friend, late 50's, who has been trying to find a job for the last 3 years. Both are hard-working, extremely talented people. But, the downturn in the economy has not been kind to them.

I'm not saying that this would be my fate as well. My thought is that getting my PhD will open more doors of me in the academic world. Right now, I am limited to the for-profit sector because of my current degrees. Having the PhD will allow me to move into traditional side without the "You have a JD which means jack squat to us".

Lots to consider, but I think I am a little more clear.

I am so glad I was able to talk this through with my mom. What I love about my mom is that she does not sugar-coat anything. But, she does it with kindness and understanding.  I am really glad that I still have her around. At 73, she is quite feisty.  She finally told me that whatever I decide, it will be the right decision.

Thanks, mom!

I am battling a pretty bad RA flare. The usual fatigue, joint pain and swelling showed up. I did have a new pain area, my ribs. It was so bad that I had trouble breathing. So, I broke down and asked for Prednisone taper.

So much for my remission.  At least I made it for over a year.