Sigh...I so want this.
I am sitting here on this Saturday night absolutely exhausted. This has been a crazy week. I had a research proposal due for my Education Design methods class on Wednesday. Although, the prof only wanted a draft, I wanted to have as close to a finished product as possible. After the holiday break, I will be consumed with teaching. grading and other end of semester heinousness at HBCU.
The proposal is a major revision of a proposal I wrote last year. I had an idea which totally shifted the focus of what will possibly be my dissertation. My prof was very helpful in helping me marrow it, but trying to get all the ideas on paper took some work. I have a post about that coming up soon. By Thursday, with the draft submitted, I had to focus on my students, whom I had ignored for a few days. Thursday and Friday were filled with grading, recording the last lecture and posting assignments.
Today, I turned my focus to my house. Despite the fact that I am working from home now, I cannot, for the life of me, understand how two adults and one large canine can destroy a house. I put my the Disco station on Pandora on my Iphone, stuck my ear buds in and got to cleaning. Except for vacuuming, which is Husband's job, I have a pretty clean house. I was pretty wiped out and crashed on the couch, only to awaken to the smell of dinner. Husband cooked!
I've been surfing the web all evening and listening to the JFK documentary on CNN. I did purchase pair of boots at Zappo's in black leather. They have an 80's and moto vibe to them. I think they will look great with skinny jeans. Husband and Junior are tag team snoring on the couch. Husband was doing some work on the car in preparation to our trip to the City of Champions to see our family for Thanksgiving, plus doing some minor plumbing work. It was also his day to take Junior for his walk.
I think I will try to sneak upstairs and try to have the bed to myself.
The Random Facts game is going on at FB, so I'll share some here. My number was 5, so I'll do 5 facts here too, but not the same ones I shared on FB.
- Although I've done gymnastics, back flips off a high dive and love roller coasters, I am afraid of heights.
- I am a moody person.
- Related to #2, I think that's why I am both an introvert and an extrovert. I enjoy being around people. But, then they annoy me and then I have to be alone.
- I love to sing, but not in public or in front of others. I have a decent voice, so I'm not sure what's up with that.
- I have to work with music playing in the background. Sometimes, I find inspiration in song lyrics.
So, yesterday was a rough day. I was still reeling from the whole HBCU business. People that I've talked to about the whole thing are giving me advice of what to do. I've heard everything from quit to blow the department in to HR to give the head of the department a piece of mind. Lots of consolation and people telling me what they think is right for me. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate people looking out for me. It's nice to know people have your back.
Right now, I am choosing not to do anything. Don't get me wrong, I've been considering all my options. But, my dad used to say 'Bide your time and then make your move." So for now, I am not going to do anything with respect to my response to HBCU.
I did apply for another job outside of academia, but in an academic-like capacity. It looks very interesting and I could definitely see myself doing the type of work the position calls for me to do. I don't know what will happen with that job. Applying for that job was more about doing something proactive rather stewing about what didn't happen.
Also, it's easier to look for a job when you have a job. I don't want to burn any bridges or make things harder by quitting. It's a rough job market right now.
For now, I am just going to sit back and wait to make my move.
You may recall that I mentioned about applying for a full time faculty position at HBCU. You may also recall my frustration with no one in the department contacting me or even acknowledging my emails and phone calls regarding my submission or even acknowledging they even received my submission?
They hired someone for the position.
How do I know? The ad was pulled from the website. Also, there is a new name listed among the faculty in that department.
I am speechless.
I thought for sure that I would get a pity interview, given that I am an internal candidate. But, I got nothing.
OK. I get that my doctorate in a law degree and my master's is not in the actual content area. But, my law degree does allow me to teach about half of their courses in the program. Also, I have some skills that would benefit not just the program, but the entire social science department. But, even if my degree does not fit the criteria they want, the least they could have done was to acknowledge me or send the standard "F-you" letter.
I'm worse off than Charlie Brown, I didn't even get a rock.
So, that makes me wonder...Why in the hell would I want to continue teaching at this school, if that is how people are treated? Part of me wants to march down there, sit outside the decision maker's office and have them tell me to my face why they did what they didn't do me the basic courtesy of saying "Thank you for your submission, but we can't use you because of...".
Or better still.."Thank you for your submission...Don't call us, we'll call you."
So, I sit here, knowing that I have work to do for the online class that I am teaching, but I don't want to even do anything connected for HBCU right now. I am too angry, upset and slightly hungover to deal with it right now.
I forgot to post yesterday. It didn't hit me until I woke up this morning.
In my defense, yesterday was hectic. My cousin needed my support with some issues at her son's school. By the time we finished, I had to rush off to my Research Design class. After class, I chatted with my professor about my final paper. I had a great idea for the paper, which would change the focus of what I had proposed. Also, it would ultimately be a great topic for my dissertation. My professor loved my changes and gave me some information to help me. I had to rush through our meeting because there were other students waiting for the professor's attention and Husband had just texted me saying he was waiting for me.
Husband and I finally made it home at 8 p.m. As I was unloading my laptop from my bag, I realized...
I left the power cord to my laptop in the classroom.
Husband checked to see if the power cords to his work laptop and his personal laptop would fit my laptop.
Husband asked me if I had enough battery juice to get me through the day.
He offered to take me back to campus to retrieve it.
It was past 8 p.m. It's about 30 minutes from our house to campus. Our Wednesday Chinese take out was about to get cold. And, I was just too damn tired, hungry and PMS-ing.
And cue the tears....NOW.
Husband gave me a hug, fixed me a plate and told me to go relax on the couch. After about 10 minutes, he showed me an image on his laptop. It was confirmation for a replacement power cord which would be delivered on Friday. "Until then." he said "I'll load some stuff on my laptop and you can use it."
Then, he gave me a hug and kissed me on the forehead. I started apologizing for my teary long-day-PMS induced meltdown. He just smiled and told me it was OK, it was a long day.
Yeah, it was a long day.
We have a four bedroom house. We have a lovely master suite with a large
bathroom and my almost dream closet (My dream closet is a Carrie
Bradshaw closet from the Sex in City movie...but the one I have is pretty nice). Another bedroom is the
dedicated office/guest room. The third bedroom in the home gym/man cave.
The remaining bedroom is set to be the permanent guest room, as soon as
we buy suitable furniture for it. For now, it is a "catch all" room
that holds anything and everything.
For a while, the office was Husband's space because he worked remotely. I didn't really share the space with him because of his equipment and his need to spread out to work (Husband is an engineer). About a year and a half ago, Husband's company closed the office in Lake Effect Snow Central and he ultimately found another job in Elsewhere, which also meant no more working remotely.
The office sat vacant for a while. Last fall, I moved my stuff in to the office. I had started working on PhD at Elsewhere State and needed a space to work. It worked out just fine for the fall semester. But when I accepted the job at Tech College, I took a break from PhD classes. Again, the office had no one to call it home.
Now that I am home pretty much all the time, the office has become mine again. But, I have trouble working there. The office also serves as the guest room. It is also the room where Husband is sent when his snoring interferes with my slumber. The duel purpose of the room makes it difficult for me to focus. So, I go from the guestroom/office to the living room to dinning room table in desperate search to carve a space that will inspire me and motivate me.
We plan to go furniture shopping in the next week or so to finally furnish the actual guest room so that the office is truly an office.
Until then, I will find my own space...somewhere.
- Seeking Solace
- I am a college professor who is fumbling through the chaos of academia, rheumatoid arthritis, working on my PhD and just being a 40 something woman. I used to be a lawyer, which made me a snarky little person. I have a wonderful Husband and a German Shepherd named Junior. They help keep me sane.